


lyrical love

by Faye_Reynolds



Series: tumblr au prompts [29]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, M/M, band!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 14:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13389459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faye_Reynolds/pseuds/Faye_Reynolds
Summary: frommy tumblr post





	lyrical love

**Author's Note:**

> from [my tumblr post](http://thecompanyofheroes.co.vu/post/162702724933/bradray-bandau-broken-down-on-some-random)

broken down on some random street, in the middle of suburban fucking california, wasn’t ray’s ideal setting to profess his love, but he’ll take what he can get. they’d been driving nonstop since their show in chicago and their old van decided to just quit on them. fair enough, the van was in shit condition when they bought it anyway, but ray at least expected to make it to the club. it’s ninety-eight degrees outside and ray can just feel the anger coming off in waves from brad. he doesn’t look over, there’s no sound except the fierce burning of the cigarette in ray’s hand. while brad sits and stews, ray thinks about what’s brought them to this point. they’d been playing together since they were eighteen and met at a show in some dive bar outside boston. they’d bonded over how shitty the lead singer was playing his six string and since then they’ve been on the road. they’ve been gaining traction over the years and though the packed shows are incredible, it’s only ever been about the music for them. then sometime, years ago, at least for ray, it became more about the two of them. ray was never one for sentimentality, but goddamn if he couldn’t wax poetic about brad’s eyes, the way he smiles when he’s fondly telling ray to shut the fuck up, and the way he looks after a show; in complete and total bliss. hell, he got way too drunk one night, while brad was off with some groupie, and ray wrote a song about him. like some fucking schoolgirl, he wrote a goddamn song about the man he’s been with for six years and loved for five. he expected brad to find out eventually. ray wore his heart on his sleeve most days. ray also expected the van eventually breaking down, expected brad to be seething when things didn’t go his way, expected him to be livid about missing the show. he didn’t expect brad to suggest they stop altogether.

* * *

 

brad slammed the driver door so hard that it shook the van.

stop? they couldn’t stop. they were finally somewhere good.  _they_  were good. 

ray jumped out the window and ran after brad.

“what the fuck are you talking about? we can’t quit.” ray pushed brad in an effort to get him to stop.

“don’t test me ray.” brad said firmly, his back still to ray. 

“then fucking tell me why you’re acting like a drama queen. storming off into the sunset like some fucking sad sack of shit.”

brad was on ray in an instant, fisting gripping his shirt so hard it could tear.

“i mean it ray.  _don’t_.” 

ray’s mother had always told his his mouth would get him into trouble one day.

that day was today.

“what is brad? you  _scared_  of something?”

brad pushed ray to the ground and he fell hard onto the hot concrete.

ray didn’t even bother to get up, just pulled his knees to his chest and stared at brad. he’s seen brad mad, he’s seen him happy, sad, blissful, and excited. he’s seen the full spectrum of emotions brad was capable of showing. he’s never seen him  _nervous_.

“that’s it isn’t? you scared of something.”

ray stood up and held his arms out, “just fucking spit it out brad. we don’t keep shit from each other. we don’t have secrets, so just tell me what the hell has your panties in a twist.”

brad turned and the look on his face almost made ray stop pushing.  _almost_.

“yeah! i said it. you’ve been acting like a fucking teenager, all brooding and contemplative and shit, since we stopped in omaha. now tell me what the fuck it is. i deserve that.”

brad was in ray’s space too quickly, hovering over him and shielding him from the hot sun.

“secrets? you wanna talk about secrets, huh?”

ray swallowed, feeling like he suddenly bit of more than he could chew. 

“ _brad.”_ ray tried.

“no ray. you started this,” brad took a step closer and ray took a step back.

“all this time, six  _fucking_  years, we’ve been together.”

ray didn’t know where brad was going with this so he questioned, “yeah? and you wanna give it all up because the van shit on us?”

brad rolled his eyes and ray wanted to laugh but his heart was beating too fast.

“this isn’t about the van!” brad shouted and started to walk away again.

ray took a deep breath, dealing with brad like this was like pulling teeth from a alligator. 

he sighed, defeated.

“then what is it about, brad? i can’t keep trying to figure out what’s going on in your fucking head all the time. it’s exhausting.”

brad looked at ray, eyes calming from the fury that was previously there.

he walked up to ray, calmer, like he reached a major decision that ray couldn’t determine.

“it’s about  _this.”_ brad held a piece of paper against ray’s chest.

when ray looked down, his heart stopped.

_no._

ray grabbed it, hands shaking. he didn’t need to unfold it to know what it was, but he still did.

he looked at the first lines and couldn’t read anymore. he knew them by heart anyway. 

he looked up at brad, desperate, but defiant.

“and?”

brad’s anger came back, but it was accompanied with a desperation ray had never seen before.

“and?! AND!” brad shouted.

ray couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move. he knew what brad was going to ask, but he didn’t want to answer. never thought he’d actually have to. 

brad was in ray’s space again, like he’d been since they met, still as intense as ever.

he pointed a finger at the paper, eyes never leaving ray’s wide ones.

“is it about  _me?_ did you write that  _about_  me? _”_ brad forced out, like it physically hurt him to ask, like he was afraid of the answer regardless of what it was.

ray was torn. if he said no, brad would know he was lying and he could lose everything he’s worked so hard to keep. if he said yes, brad would know he was telling the truth and he could lose everything he’s worked so hard to keep.

he’d been living with this for so long. and if brad was already talking about leaving, then ray would give him a justified reason to.

“yes, okay? yes it’s fucking about you!” ray pushed brad away and started walking back to the van.

“ray!”

“no brad! okay? just don’t. fucking don’t. i don’t want to listen to the whole “we can still be friends even though you’re gay as shit for me and wrote a song about my eyes and how they make you feel” speech. alright? just fucking don’t.”

ray slammed the passenger door so hard the entire van shook. he grabbed his cigarettes and climbed into the back, where they’d made a makeshift bed beside their gear, where either could sleep on the long stretches of road.

he was through three cigarettes and near tears at losing his best friend and the man he’d loved for five long years. 

he stubbed out his fourth cigarette and was poised to pull out a fifth when the back doors of the van opened in a rush.

“you just can’t take a fucking hin-” ray was cut off but brad’s lips on his.

it was awkward and harsh but it was exactly what ray imagined a first kiss with brad would be like.

brad pulled away, eyes wild with fear and surprise and a hint of lust.

“what the fuck was that?”

brad kissed ray again, this time with more precision and heat. 

“brad if this is some pity goodbye forever bullshit i don’t want it.” ray looked at brad, terrified that he was right.

brad smiled, “ray, for once, shut the fuck up.”

he climbed into the back of the van and onto ray, pulling the doors shut.

“this okay?” brad asked, unsure.

“it’s fucking great, bradley. i knew you were gay for me all along.”

brad laughed and pull ray on top of him.

“sure ray, now seriously shut the fuck up.”

ray was more than happy to as he kissed brad like he’s always wanted to.


End file.
